06.30.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:21 pm by kellgaston
I had lunch with my “old boss” from the SHPO on Monday. We had a good time catching up. Right before we left, she asked me the question that she asks me almost every time we see each other. “Are you pregnant yet?” I always laugh it off and assure that no, I’m not pregnant!
It’s kind of a standing joke for us when we get together, but it brings up a more serious issue.
Dh and I want to have more children. In our long range plan, we definitely want to have a grand total of 3 or 4. Because of our IF history and my known issues, we can’t wait forever, either. And, I don’t see it getting any easier to tend to children — I don’t think energy increases as you get older! So, ultimately we would like to plan on having another baby in 2010.
That prospect does not seem to make my mom very happy. She’s always encouraged us to only have two children. Any more, says the woman with four children, is simply too much to handle. I remember my brother and his wife being afraid to tell my mom when they were pregnant with their third (who turned out to be twins). My oldest sister regrets only having two.
My mom has already told me that she will not be here to help with another baby like she has been for Nathaniel and Ava. She was very helpful with both, although we clashed frequently. We’re both pretty strong willed.
I guess I just do not understand why she is so opposed to us having more kids. Are we not good parents? I realize that my house is frequently a mess and I have a hard time getting things like laundry and yard work done, but the essentials are taken care of. The kids are fed, bathed, and loved. I do appreciate help whenever I can get it, but we manage without it. I realize that having a third and maybe a fourth child will be difficult. But, it would be worth it ultimately.
My mom was one of the first people to find out about both Nathaniel and Ava. I guess I’ll have to keep any future “news” to myself.
Of course, all of this could be moot. Who knows if it can even happen again. Maybe Ava was a fluke. I guess we’ll see . . .
We’re not in any real hurry. I’m enjoying being healthier. I like being able to play with the kids without a belly getting in the way, but . . .
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06.23.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:39 pm by kellgaston
The schedule for the rest of the week was hectic.
That all changed around 4:30 this afternoon.
My closing for Wednesday had to be rescheduled to Friday. That necessitated a flurry of phone calls.
My closing for Thursday needed additional documents and a second visit by the appraiser because of the broken wood flooring that somehow, the seller cannot seem to get fixed. Gluing broken boards together does not cut it!!!!
Why, oh why, do lenders wait until the very last minute to request things that are absolutely necessary? It makes me so angry. They’ve had a month, or more, and yet they go crazy with requests the last day.
I give lenders a couple chances. If they mess up on more than two things, that’s it. I move on. Lots of lenders in the sea. Don’t mess with me! I expect the type of service I try to provide to my clients.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 6:35 pm by kellgaston
Ava is crawling! She has been on the verge of crawling for weeks. For some time, she has been able to maneuver by rolling around, but last night (June 22nd) she was up on her knees and moving around.
It’s exciting but scary.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 6:33 pm by kellgaston
Like much of America, I tuned into TLC last night to watch J&K+8. Were four crooked houses really necessary?
Anyway, I was hoping against hope that the big announcement would be that they have decided to step back from the show and work on their relationship. I was sadly disappointed but not surprised.
I was shocked, however — shocked at Jon’s seeming excitement at the prospect of being divorced from Kate. I’ve long acknowledged that Kate has mistreated Jon and I’ve even stood up for him. But not anymore. I can see him quickly becoming one of those divorced dads who do as little as possible for their kids. I expected better of him.
Of course, I didn’t know how sorry to feel for Kate either. Was her sadness genuine or contrived? After seeing the video of her brother and sister-in-law, I have my doubts about her motives.
I wonder how much they’ve thought this move through. Things will never ever be the same. Even memories of the good times will be forever tarnished. Those poor kids. Everything will be pre or post divorce. Did they even try? “I don’t hate” him or her. That won’t last. By the time this thing is over, each side will think the other is scum.
I understand that sometimes there is no way to save a marriage. That sometimes, people should not be together. But I don’t see any obvious impediment besides selfishness. There is probably much more to the story. I just keep going back to the vow renewal ceremony last fall.
Just reminds me again of how important communication in marriage is. It’s so easy to slip apart.
Those poor kids . . .
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06.20.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:44 pm by kellgaston
I have to admit, I HATE Father’s Day. Actually, I’ve tried to remove it from my vocabulary. Used to, I always tried to be out of town or really busy on that day. However, that is no longer possible. Not to mention, I want to celebrate it for Dh’s sake. I still wish I could just go from Saturday to Monday and skip Sunday, though.
Why might you ask? Most who know me know the why. My dad has Alzheimer’s and has had Alzheimer’s for . . . forever.
Tonight, I bit the bullet and went to see him. I haven’t been to see him in several months. I haven’t seen him around Father’s Day in years and years. He looked good. The purpose of my visit was to update the bulletin board in his room. Dh and the kids went with me. Of course, he did not know me but I said hello and went to work. All went well until his roommate came in. At first, the roommate was talkative and interested in the kids. But then, twilight hit. The roommate lost it and started yelling at us and cursing. He obviously wanted us to leave. I tried to finish as quickly as possible, but . . . it was not fast enough for him! So, not a great visit. But, maybe the craziness helped to break any tension that might have otherwise been present.
Happy Father’s Day to dh and the other dads out there. Appreciate your dads. I’ll celebrate the day again . . . someday when this is all over and my dad’s body gives up.
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05.31.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:26 pm by kellgaston
Recently, one of my favorite bloggers (Jamie at Sticky Feet) posted her goals for the next ten years (while reflecting on her goals for the last ten years).
I’ve never been one to actually write goals down. I have obscure ideas in my head about what I’d like to accomplish, but nothing nearly specific as what she had.
When I graduated from high school, I knew I wanted to go to college (anywhere but Southeastern or Oklahoma State) and that I would major in history. Early on, I thought I’d go ahead and do social studies education but really thought I’d go on to law school. It wasn’t until one of my last semesters at Southeastern (yeah, that school I didn’t want to go to) that I heard about historic preservation. Somehow that appealed to me, but I just kind of happened upon the field. I’m glad I did.
Okay, so I went to college, and then more college, and then more college. And I got married (then divorced . . . that definitely wasn’t part of the plan). Had to reevaluate the plan. I definitely knew I wanted to be married. Then, I met Scott. The rest is history . . . a house, a couple of jobs, and a couple of wonderful kids.
So, do I have goals for the next ten years or so? I know I probably should. It’s always good to have a goal in mind or else you tend to wander aimlessly. So, here goes:
1. Be healthy! Get back to my goal weight and exercise 3 to 5 times per week. Eat as healthily as possible.
2. Be a good wife. (more below)
3. Be a good mommy . . . to Ava and Nathaniel and whatever other little ones might find their way to our house. I’d like two more little ones to come along, but who knows. Whatever happens, I want there to eventually be closure about that. I want to feel done at the end of that road. I want to have patience with them, to speak softly even when I’m angry, and to be consistent and firm.
4. Never stop learning. Dh was teasing me this morning about wanting a Ph.D. He’s crazy. I’m done with “school” school, but I want to always be learning new things. After my lasted real estate transaction, I definitely think my spanish speaking skills could use some work.
5. Build our dream home.
6. Be a nice person. I still find myself saying things I regret. I need to continue to work on being a nicer, more thoughtful person and a better witness.
In summary, there is a scripture from Proverbs that beautifully describes what I hope to become “when I grow up”:
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate…..”
Should be a piece of cake, right?
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05.25.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:16 pm by kellgaston
As usual, I DVR’d J&K+8 tonight (it interferes with bedtime).
I tuned in with a skeptical attitude. I made dh watch too. I was in tears before it was over.
I could identify with a lot of what was k was saying. I’ve been there before; dh has been there before. When you are considering what before would have been the unthinkable. When you realize that this might be the last time that . . . there’s a “family” picture . . . that you see this person before the big “D”or that you see this person at all. That’s very hard. There’s a lot to consider and once you go down that road . . . you really can’t ever go back.
I was struck by the difference in their demeanors. J seems to have accepted that it is over, without blaming K. He seems to accept a lot of responsibility for what has happened. K seems angry, yet at the same time, broken and vulnerable. But is that genuine, or the ploy of the evil empress whose empire is crumbling around her?
K started talking about five years ago when the sextuplets were born and how at that time, they thought they could beat the odds (the odds that say that a majority of parents of multiples end of divorcing) and now she just didn’t know. I wanted to shake her and say, think back to before that time, to why you are together in the first place, how much you loved each other and how much you wanted these children! To how hard you worked together to get this far!
I wanted to smack them both at times and to tell them to get their acts together!
I missed the end . . . the dvr stopped recording for some reason. I’m still troubled by this. I don’t know why I care so much. I guess I just empathize and hate to see people feeling like this, although I know it happens far too often. And, those kids are just so cute. I hate to see them traumatized and no matter how well they try to handle it, divorce would be traumatic.
You can be sure I’ll be watching next week! (and reading in-between)
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05.23.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:07 pm by kellgaston
Okay, I meant to write this post a long, long time ago, but . . . I’d just had a baby.
I turned 18 on the last day to register to vote in the 1996 presidential election. I won’t own up to who I voted for. I minored in political science in college. I’ve voted in every major election since I turned eighteen, except for 2008.
Why, you might ask?
Because I was DISENFRANCHISED!
Ava was around two weeks old. DH went to vote on his way to work. It took him two hours. I went to the polling station three times. If you remember, election day here was cold and yucky. The line outside our polling station wrapped around the building and out into the parking lot. Exactly how is a new mom who is breastfeeding supposed to wait in line indefinitely? I really wanted to go, but I would have had to take her with me (she would not drink from a bottle at the time) and the weather was just too bad for me to stand outside for who knows how long.
Others voted absentee. I’ve never voted absentee. I’ve never had a problem showing up to vote on that day. I’ve never had to wait more than like 5 minutes.
All I have to say is that it was ridiculous. The Cleveland County Election Board should be ashamed. Some polling stations were not busy at all, while others, like ours, had awful wait times. Shame, shame, shame!!
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Posted in Uncategorized at 7:00 pm by kellgaston
For some time, Ava has been trying to get a tooth. Finally, it arrived (on Thursday). I have only caught a quick glimpse — definitely no pictures. She’s been very shy about showing it. She’s so pretty!
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Posted in Uncategorized at 6:58 pm by kellgaston
Recently, my niece Millie and I got into a heated discussion about the TLC reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8. I have to admit, it has been one of my favorite shows, but in the last few months, I had been doing some digging and had found some not so flattering information about what happened behind the scenes. And that was before the latest scandals. (I’m referring to stories about the estrangement of Kate and her father, as well as her comments about about the state of PA needing to continue paying for her medicaid nurse). After reading several primary sources, some of the “glamor” was gone from the show for me. Before that, I had admired the way they handled so many children, how their house was so clean and well organized, and the fact that they eat homecooked, organic meals all the time and did so on a budget.
Back in the fall, there was lots of hype about their vow renewal ceremony in Hawaii. I remember thinking at the time that what they were saying was almost like asking for trouble. Kate said something to the effect that the renewal ceremony was to show the kids that they would always be together. Maybe they should have left well enough alone.
Anyway, despite the fact that I have been guilty of “bashing” the show (particularly Kate), I so hope that the allegations are not true. This is one couple that really needs to stay together. They’ve been through so much together. It just seems awful that fame could pull them apart. I’ll be tuning in on Monday for the start of the summer season. Hopefully they can work everything out. But maybe they should consider stepping out of the limelight, at least for a while.
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