01.26.08
Posted in Family at 9:26 pm by kellgaston
Dh, baby, and I have had a wonderful weekend so far. Friday night we were able to watch a movie. Saturday was cleaning day. We managed to get a lot done, although we still have some work to do.
We also had a chance to catch a movie, M*chael Clayton, at the theatre. We wanted to see it back in October, but never had a chance. I love movie popcorn!
And, we have had lots of play time. Baby can get all over the place in his walker. And, he can stand up if he’s sitting on your lap!
Btw, his six month checkup was this past Friday. He is now 16 lbs. 9 ozs. and 27 1/2 inches tall. Tall and skinny! He had four shots and was a little whiny yesterday afternoon, but not too bad.
He’s such a sweet little person, and developing more of his own personality each day.
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01.23.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:46 pm by kellgaston
Did I mention that we are in the process of buying 1.3 acres? So, tonight dh had to spend most of his evening on the phone trying to line up financing. What fun! I never thought it would be so difficult to get a lot loan, but apparently, that type of loan is pretty uncommon.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 7:44 pm by kellgaston
The candidate for my former boss’ job came in Tuesday morning. I tried very hard to be nice and hopefully I succeeded. She was nice enough. I think she would do alright.
On Wednesday, I had to review her written exercise. Kind of ironic.
The big boss promised to make a decision by Friday, so we’ll see what happens.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 7:42 pm by kellgaston
So much for a leisurely 3 day weekend.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told I “look” tired over the last few days. Aren’t new moms supposed to “look” tired?
Back to the weekend . . . we were supposed to go down south. My middle sister was in because of the long weekend. I didn’t want to go Friday night. I didn’t have things together and I wanted to do something with dh. We got to go out for dinner by ourselves for the first time since our anniversary, 8 days before Nathaniel was born. Saturday morning, I still couldn’t decide what to do. I wanted to go, but I didn’t. Eventually, we drove down to spend the day. It was fun. We had good pizza for lunch and a good visit. “The boys” (Nathaniel and his two-week older cousin, Joshua) were able to play together. It was so cute.
Last week was long and stressful. Dh and I were both tired. We ended up taking naps that afternoon. When I woke up, it was time to go but mom wanted me to run to the home improvement store with her to pick out some tile, etc. While I was asleep, the nursing home where my dad is had called, saying my dad had fallen. While mom and I were driving, she tried to call the hospital (dad had been taken to the ER) but they would not tell her anything. I tried calling, but all they would tell me is that he was undergoing “testing.” After a lot of arguing, they told me testing consisted of xrays and bloodwork.
Dad has fallen a lot. That happens with end stage Alzheimer’s disease. So, we weren’t too concerned. Then, the doctor finally called to say dad needed surgery on Sunday and not at the local hospital.
To make a long story short, we ended up spending Sunday in McAlester. I spent the whole weekend on the road.
Monday, I had errands to run. So much for rest. Dad spent several days in ICU, but is now back in my hometown at the local hospital.
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01.12.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:05 pm by kellgaston
I woke up in the night crying about the situation at work. That makes me so mad. When I’m mad I cry.
Dh has spent the day trying to convince me it’s no big deal. He’s trying to get me to see the big boss’s position — all stuff I don’t want to hear. I just want to be mad and offended.
In my field, there is one ultimate position. That’s the job I’ve been doing full-time for the last two weeks. My real job is the peon job of preservation. I was perfectly content to be in that position when my preservation mentor was my supervisor. He wanted me to have the job.
His job involves interaction with people — you feel like you’re making a difference. There’s so much to do that you can’t ever get it all done. It’s never boring.
My job can get boring. If my supervisor hadn’t given me elements of his job to do, I would have been bored out of my mind! Never a phone call.
The best comparison I come up with is this:
In dh’s world, there are grunt code “monkeys” and there are developers, who are more involved in design, but still do the work. I was the grunt, like the code monkey locked in my cube or out in the field being glared at by landowners. I had no say. Then I got promoted. My input was important. I still get to be in the field, but I also deal with the public, helping to solve problems and make a difference. Now, that will be ending and I’ll be the isolated grunt again. That’s hard to swallow, especially knowing that I will be supplanted by an outsider who is unfamiliar with the state.
The plan right now is that if the hire this woman, I will offer to return to part time or quit. I feel bad because I’ve already made commitments for later this year, at the NTHP conference in Tulsa and to do several nominations. I could still do some of it if I left, but probably not the conference. Oh, well. I feel better about this.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 7:52 pm by kellgaston
Birthday parties, baby showers, holidays, the mall — all situations or places that are killer for people going through infertility. Today, we were at a one year old’s birthday. It was great with Nathaniel. Without him, it would have been killer. There were tons of kids. I hope there were no IFers there, because we were all way insensitive.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 7:50 pm by kellgaston
I hate it when dh is right! I shouldn’t be mean about the cake delinquent. I’m just frustrated. I finally spoke to her at work on Friday. She says her mom has not given her any money, so somebody is confused or being deceitful. She told me she’d pay me as soon as she received the bill (I emailed it to her weeks ago). Quinn re-sent that yesterday. We’ll see what happens. Sometimes I just want to forget about it. At other times, I want to make another cake and then go hunt her down and hurl it at her!
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01.10.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:48 pm by kellgaston
Well, today was another long day and I feel like things have been turned upside down, just today. I’ve been really enjoying my work. I thought things were going well, except for that one consultant whose been a pain. Then this morning, I overhear a conversation about flight arrangements for the one candidate for Jim’s job. She’ll be here the 22nd. I wanted to leave immediately. I could barely compose myself. I was crying at my desk. I hate that. I hate that it still makes me so mad! I googled her. She has more experience, certainly, but I guess we’ll see. It really mad it difficult to concentrate. But I’m close to finishing my big project. I want that finished before I leave.
In other news, I tried to call the cake delinquent again. This time I called from home and she answered. But when I identified myself, the good phone connection suddenly became full of static and she hung up. Grrr . . . I wish we had an attorney in our family, just to make a phone call.
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01.01.08
Posted in Family, Infertility, Work at 8:07 am by kellgaston
I’ve been reading a lot of posts about resolutions for the new year. So, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about mine, but have so busy that I did not have time to write them down till now. Who knows if I’ll have time to finish. Baby has been very clingy!For 2008 –
- Come to some sort of decision (that I can live with) about working full-time.
- Not let infertility “rule” my life. I can be infertile and not be consumed by it. That’s my goal. It is something that has changed my life/our life forever. It’s now an issue/a cause I want to champion, but I do not want to see myself as a victim any longer. (I still think it is unfair, don’t get me wrong.)
- Stop letting some small person make me mad all the time. This small person’s behavior affects what I am/am not willing to do and this person should not have so much power. This may require professional help.
- Stop getting mad about the disorder in our house. I seem to be angry, a lot, and it’s not really justified. I just need to accept that everything cannot be perfect and move on. I just cannot handle a cluttered or dirty house. It makes me mean!
- #4 leads into #5. Be a better wife. We need to spend more time together. Our alone time is often sitting in the same room, each with a computer on our lap. That’s not good enough.
- Okay, I saved the best two for the end. Get back into pre-infertility shape. Actually, it should be pre-marriage shape. I weighed 137 the day we got married in 2004. I haven’t seen that number since then. I’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. Finding time to go to the gym that doesn’t cut into my time to spend with baby or prepare healthy food is going to be a serious challenge. I just need more hours in the day or the ability to function with less sleep!
- Oh, yeah, I want to get pregnant again!!!!!! Pregnancy was truly one of the most exciting, most special times in my life. I want to experience that again so much. I want another little tummy buddy! And baby needs a baby brother or sister, or two or three. It is exciting and scary to begin that journey again. Part of me says I’m crazy to start again so soon, that one baby and work and home and husband is enough, but we want more. And waiting is not good in our case. So, in less than a month, the counting and the temping begins again. Maybe this journey will be much shorter!
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